Mar 4, 2020
The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold
nothing back in this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where they
tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros
and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical
power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants
and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear
message to your spouse that you don’t give a shit.
*This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.*
The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White
hold nothing back in this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where they
tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros
and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical
power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants
and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear
message to your spouse that you don’t give a shit.
*This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share
insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the
following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING
Point #1: Deep Communication Is Vital
- Communication is vital to your sanity and the health of your
marriage. At the end of the day, it’s about getting to a place
where you can have hard conversations.
- Garrett & Danielle used alcohol to support them down that path.
It opened up space where they could go deeper, beyond “surface”
conversation. It also created the opportunity for them to
experience sexuality with each other, even when they were arguing
and fighting, which is a part of what kept them going.
QUESTION
What tools do you use that help you and your spouse have deeper
conversations without setting off fireworks?
Point #2: When Alcohol Becomes a Problem
- In time, alcohol was no longer working for them. Garrett had
become less patient and was quick to lose his temper with Danielle
and their eldest daughter, causing him to decide to walk away from
alcohol (at the time of recording this episode.)
- Danielle: On Date Nights, drinking was a treat and was
fun for us. It allowed us to let go of the day and just relax.
After work, I would come home and drink a glass of wine with
dinner, but when that one glass turned into two or three, I
realized I didn’t really want to be that person drinking a glass of
wine every night.
QUESTION
What habits have you taken on in your marriage that are no
longer serving you? What would it take for you to make the
decision to walk away from them?
Point #3: Dress the Part
- How you dress sends a non-verbal message of energy towards your
spouse every single day. Date Night changed everything for Garrett.
He was dressing in an old plaid shirt, but when he started dressing
up, he knew that he looked good and sexy, which translated into
energy and confidence.
- Danielle: I’m a fan of dressing to feel on point. What energy
am I putting off? Like I don’t give a shit? Instead of putting on
my “mom” outfit, I’m going to throw on some jeans and some cute
shoes just to make me feel like I have put myself together for the
day. I feel better doing it, and I have a more productive day.
QUESTION
What changes are you willing to make to your wardrobe to reflect
a sexier, more confident you?
Point #4: Straight Talk
- Garrett: There are a lot of women who only dress up once a week
on Date Night. I’m not telling you you have to dress up like a
princess every single day, all day long. What I am telling you is
this: how you dress impacts the energy of what your husband sees
when he comes home. If he comes home to the “frumpy sweatpant lulu
lady in constant ponytails,” there’s going to be a lack of
attraction.
- Garrett: A vast majority of the married men that I have met are
in worse shape than their wives. Men, your body did not go to the
shitshow bringing babies into this world. This is like pushing a
pumpkin out of your penis. You’re carrying bullshit weight, and
your wife’s not turned on about it either – not just because of
your body, but because you don’t feel powerful about the way you
look.
QUESTION
Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Would I be
turned on by my appearance?
Point #5: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk
- Garrett: Let’s pretend that your body is a witness of your
commitment to your wife, that what you’ve done to your body and how
it looks is currently communicating more to your wife about your
commitment to your marriage than anything you’re trying to tell
her.
- It’s not about six-packs, bikini beach bodies, or being super
shredded. At the end of the day, you’ve got to be on point about
the way you feel about your body, and inside of that, you have to
feel on point about how you package yourself. It’s all about energy
and what makes you feel confident.
QUESTION
How do you feel about your body?
Communication Challenge:
What can you do in the way you are currently presenting yourself
to your partner physically? Write down something in the way you
dress that would start sending the message, “Hey, I actually care
about myself!”
Date Night Topic:
Talk about what you can do inside of your marriage that would
allow you to isolate and discuss one or two of your problems as a
couple.
Quote of the Week:
“To all you men who let their bodies go and never have to
carry the children, you haven’t had to get pregnant or carry the
baby for nine months and then push a fucking baby out of your
penis. You literally have no excuse. You want to get laid, you want
to get connected, but what are you communicating to your wife when
you come out of the shower in a towel with your extra 30-40 pounds?
No matter what, your wife is not turned on by this. Your lights are
getting turned down, and there’s no show going on because you’re
not actually showing that you give a shit.”
—Garrett J White
“Ladies, if you’re in a good mood and your husband’s in a
bad mood, don’t let him bring you down to that level. Understand
it’s probably not even about you. Walk a little sexy, be flirty, go
kiss his ear a little bit, smile, rub up against him, turn on your
charm. Whatever they’re pissed about will go away – they just can’t
help it!”
—Danielle K White