Apr 3, 2018
The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White
hold nothing back in this week's Date Your Wife podcast where they
tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros
and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical
power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants
and 40 pounds of excess fat around your mid section sends a clear
message to your spouse that you don't give a shit.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share
insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the
following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING
Point #1: Deep Communication Is Vital
- At the end of the day, what we’re really talking about is being
able to get to the place where you can have conversation. If one
thing triggers you about your spouse, it’s hard to talk about
anything else. What you’re triggered about is usually something
that’s really, really important to you. So being able to
communicate about it is vital to your sanity and to the health of
your marriage.
- One of the things Garrett and Danielle used as a couple was
alcohol to support them in that path. It opened up a space
where they could have hard conversations and go deeper beyond
surface conversation. Alcohol also created for them the opportunity
to experience sexuality with each other even when they were arguing
and fighting about a ton of other shit, which is a part of what
kept them going.
QUESTION: What tools do you use that help you and your spouse
have deeper conversations without setting off fireworks?
Point #2: When Alcohol Becomes a Problem
- After a certain amount of time, alcohol was no
longer working for them. In recent weeks, Garrett had become less
patient and quick to lose his temper with Danielle and their eldest
daughter, causing him to make the decision to walk away from
alcohol for the past 15 days from when this episode was recorded
and going.
- Danielle: On Date Nights, drinking was like a
treat and was fun for us. It allowed us to let go of the day and
just relax. When it became like a dependency, I was thinking it
might be becoming a problem. After work, I would come home and
drink a glass of wine with dinner every night and think that's
totally normal, but then one glass would turn into two or three and
I realized I didn't really want to be that person drinking a glass
of wine every night.
QUESTION: What habits have you taken on in your marriage that
are no longer serving you? What would it take for you to make
the decision to walk away from them?
Point #3: Dress the Part
- How you dress sends a non verbal message of energy
towards your spouse every single day. Danielle: Date Night changed
everything for Garrett. He was dressing in an old plaid shirt, but
he didn't feel sexy in it. When he started dressing up, he knew
that he looked good and sexy, which translated into energy and
confidence.
- Danielle: I’m a fan of dressing to feel on point. It
just makes me feel better and I’m ready to go for the day. The days
when I don’t take the time time to get ready, I just don't feel
great. What energy am I putting off? Like I don’t give a shit?
Instead of putting on my mom outfit, I’m going to throw on some
jeans and some cute shoes just to make me feel like I have put
myself together for the day. I feel better doing it and I have a
more productive day.
QUESTION: What changes are you willing to make to your wardrobe
to reflect a sexier, more confident you?
Point #4: Straight Talk
- Garrett: There are a lot of women who don’t dress up except
once a week on Date Night. I’m not telling you you have to dress up
like a princess every single day, all day long. What I am telling
you is this: How you dress impacts the energy of what your husband
sees when he comes home. If he comes home to the frumpy sweat pant
lulu lady in constant ponytails, let me tell you what’g going to
happen: there’s going to be lack of attraction.
- Garrett: A vast majority of the married men that I have met are
in worse shape than their wives. Men, your body did not go to shit
show bringing babies into this world. This is like pushing a
pumpkin out of your penis. You're carrying bullshit weight and
your wife’s not turned on about it either - not just because of
your body, but because you don’t feel powerful about the way you
look.
QUESTION: Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Would
I be turned on by my appearance?
Point #5: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk
- Garrett: Let’s pretend that your body is a witness
of your commitment to your wife, that what you’ve done to your body
and how it looks is currently communicating more to your wife about
your commitment to your marriage than anything you're trying to
tell her.
- It’s not about six packs, bikini beach bodies or
being super shredded. At the end of the day, you’ve got to be on
point about the way way you feel about your body, and inside of
that you have to feel on point about how you package yourself. It’s
all about the energy and what makes you feel confident.
QUESTION: How do you feel about your body?
Communication Challenge:
What can you do in the way you are currently
presenting yourself to your partner physically? Write down
something in the way you dress that would start sending the
message: Hey, I actually care about myself!
Send Garrett and Danielle some of your thoughts on
why this show has been working for you, along with topics you would
like to hear us discuss to: garrett@wakeupwarrior.com
Date Night Topic:
Talk about what you can do inside of your marriage
that would allow for you to actually be able to isolate and discuss
one or two of your problems as a couple.
Quote of the Week:
"To all you men who let their bodies go and never have to carry
the children: You haven’t had to get pregnant or carry the baby for
nine months and then push a fucking baby out of your penis. You
literally have no excuse. You want to get laid. You want to get
connected, but what are you communicating to your wife when you
come out of the shower with a towel on and your extra 30-40 pounds,
your hairy back and chest? No matter what, your wife is not turned
on by this. Your lights are getting turned down and there’s no show
going on because you’re not actually showing that you give a
shit."
--Garrett J White
"Ladies, if you’re in a good mood and your husband’s
in a bad mood, don’t let him bring you down to that level.
Understand it's probably not even about you. Walk a little sexy, be
flirty, go kiss his ear a little bit, smile, rub up against him,
turn on your charm. Whatever they're pissed about will go away -
they just can't help it!"
--Danielle K White