Mar 20, 2018
In this this week's topic of Money, Garrett and Danielle explore the idea that the best return of investment you can make is that of time and experiences with your spouse and children and share stories and tips on how to pull this off successfully, no matter what circumstances you may currently find yourself in.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week's Podcast....SEX
Point #1: Feeling Like An ATM or Piece of Ass?
- Inside the game of Relationship, money itself is a controlling tool for most men. Men use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. At the end of the day, this seduction loop leaves many men feeling that the only validation they get is when they make the money - like they are an ATM.
- The wife can be feeling like she’s 'just a piece of Ass' and a non paid slave. Taking care of the home and the children is a full time job in and of itself, worth a lot more than many men are giving their wives permission to spend.
QUESTION: What actions tend to follow when you feel like an ATM or a piece of Ass inside your marriage?
Point #2: Unplug and Let Go
- Women understand that men have worked all day yet want them to unplug from work and just be present with the family when they are home. Men feel like their day never ends. They come home from a long day of work and then are expected to be fully present with their wife and children.
- Garrett: I want to spend time with you, not the stressed out version of you that’s worrying about cleaning the fucking house right now. I don’t want a fucking check list of things to clean. I want to be with you.
QUESTION:What do you do that helps you transition from work to home in becoming present with your spouse and children?
Point #3: What's Your Story?
- Garrett: There are going to be guys with stay at home wives up in arms about this, saying: What?! Let me get this shit straight: I’m going to go pay somebody to come into my home to clean and do the laundry? That’s the woman’s job. She has to do that. That’s why she’s home!
- What if you questioned the story: My wife’s the one that is supposed to clean and make dinner. It’s the guy’s job to mow the lawn. Who made these rules anyway?
QUESTION: What stories are you hanging onto about the different roles of men and women that are hindering your ability to grow together?
Point #4: Spend Money to Buy Time
- Garrett: One of the ways you can use money as a man inside of your home and inside of being together as a couple is to use your money in a way that buys the thing for the family that gives them what actually matters: TIME. There’s this transition that comes with being willing to spend money to buy time.
- Danielle: People get emotionally bogged down over the stupidest shit. No matter what role you play in your family (working mom, stay at home mom, community mom) there are all of these little things that could lift the weight off our shoulders, relieving tension and guilt, freeing up more time to spend with the family - which is so worth it to me.
QUESTION: Where in your life could you make some little adjustments that would free up more time to spend together as a couple or as a family?
Point #5: Your Family Is An Investment
- Garrett: Gentlemen, I’m going to have you consider that the greatest rate of return is to make sure that you stay together as a family. One of the ways to pull this off is to create conditions for your wife to actually have more opportunities.
- Danielle: Women tend to take on the persona of Wonder Woman - I can do it all! I can be everything! It’s not realistic, and those who say it is are lying to themselves. You've go to be ok with the idea that you can't do everything.
QUESTION: How are you investing in our family in terms of dollars, time and experiences?
Communication Challenge:
At the end of the day, if your money doesn’t serve you and your marriage and family, then what is the point in having it, anyway?
Date Night Topic:
What are some of the investments you can make irregardless of the amount of money you have? In my world, there were plenty of times I was in shitty old sweats with a t-shirt and I was trying to figure out how to do these two things, and you can too.
#1 - How are you going to take some dollars this week to buy some more time for you and your family so that you can have #2 - The time and experiences that matter?
Quote of the Week:
"You tell me where you’re going to get a higher rate of return: Money in your 401k plan, or money in a babysitter to watch your children while you take your wife out on a date? Where are you going to get a higher ROI? Putting money into a cleaner to buy your wife more sanity so she doesn’t become a fucking crazy person, or putting money back into your 401k plan? Where are you going to get a higher rate of return? Taking money and time to invest in experiences with your children, or putting money into your 401k plan?."
--Garrett J White
"Guilt is the #1 destructive thing. It’s the enemy. It does not serve you. If you find yourself feeling guilty, ask yourself: How can I let go of this guilt? How can I change this story? Find your balance, find out how to let go of the guilt, and more importantly, learn how and create a story that serves you best."
--Danielle K White