Mar 27, 2018
In the show that is sparking an opportunity for
married couples to have conversations they wouldn’t normally be
able to have, married co-hosts Danielle K and Garrett J White dive
deep into the topic of Parenting in this week's real and raw Date
Your Wife Podcast as they discuss discipline, connection and what
really matters to them as parents.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share
insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the
following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING
Point #1: Miscarriage
- Danielle and Garrett have a thoughtful and candid
conversation about her miscarriage that happened while Garrett was
in Florida speaking at the recent Click Funnels event. "As women,
most of the time we know we are pregnant long before a test tells
us we are, as we tend to be naturally intuitive about our
bodies."
- Danielle was hesitant to tell many people she was
pregnant because somehow she knew this pregnancy wasn’t going to
last and she didn’t want to get her hopes up too much in case
something like this were to happen.
QUESTION: If you have experienced a miscarriage, how has it
affected you, your spouse and your children?
Point #2: The Puppy Parenting Strategy
- Danielle's beloved Weiner dog, Chloe, is 14 years
old and has had a self designated poop rug in every house the
White's have ever lived in. Garrett is Chloe’s master poop picker
upper and Danielle claims cute Chloe drops those logs on the rug
simply because she and Garrett haven't taught her well, nor have
they been consistent with her, while Garrett swears it's because of
doggy poop karma.
- Danielle: I suck at being consistent as a parent and
am full of empty threats. I don’t even know how to parent my ten
year old daughter. I’m always thinking of things to take away from
her for her punishment or giving her time frames to complete
things, but she doesn’t seem to care. She is so stubborn and hates
being told what to do.
QUESTION: In what ways are you and your spouse consistent or
inconsistent with your children?
Point #3: Conflicting Parental Strategies
- Although Danielle admits she has no parenting strategy, she
feels Garrett's approach is too harsh and tends to get in between
he and the kids when he is trying to discipline them his
way. Garrett shares that they're a shit show in a lot of areas and
that they really don't have much figured out when it comes to
parenting, except in a couple of areas where they both admit they
really shine at being parents: connection and family time.
- Garrett: Sometimes I’m not even sure how to respond to my
children because we have such contradicting strategies for
parenting. I’m very much in your face, aggressive and yelling,
where Danielle obviously does not do this. Oft times this causes
collision.
QUESTION: What ways of disciplining do you and your spouse tend
to agree on?
Point #4: Take Off the Filters
- Garrett: As adults we have been trained to stuff everything
down, we've been trained to not talk about the truth or
reality. The one thing that I was worried about as a father
was giving our children the space to be emotionally honest with us
in our home, which means being able to talk to us about hard
things.
- Amidst the fact that Danielle and Garrett admittedly have very
obvious dysfunction in their disciplining skills, the one thing
they agree to having is a deep connection and open communication
with their children. There's no topic that's considered taboo or
off limits. In their home, the kids are exposed to a reality check
of how life really is, which includes debate, disagreement and open
conversation.
QUESTION: Is the filter on or off at your home? What can you do
to create a more open environment for your family?
Point #5: Get Clear On What Really Matters
- Garrett: What exactly is your commitment to your children?
You’re not going to win all of the wars in all of the categories.
If you do, what you will end up with is a very sedated child who is
doing a shit load of stuff behind your back. I need to know that my
children can take care of themselves. I need to know that my
daughter has the power to take a stand for herself when I’m not
around or when Danielle’s not around.
- You’re never going to have a perfect situation no
matter what you try to do, and you’re never going to have it all
figured out and have nailed down every single aspect of parenting
with your children.
QUESTION: What are the parts of parenting that actually matter
to you?
Communication Challenge:
What is the part of the relationship between you and
your children that actually works?
Date Night Topic:
What are the things that are non negotiable for you
inside this relationship between you and your children - the things
that you are going to battle hard on? What are all of the other
things that would be nice to have but you're going to let them go
or let them slide while you focus all of your energy on your main
commitment?
Quote of the Week:
"You need to pick what your battles are. We are all trying to
create a game that
makes sense for our children and for us as parents. We are not
perfect with this, we don’t profess to be, nor do we pretend like
we have all of the answers. Something we do have is the
communication and the opportunity to share."
--Garrett J White
"I’ve noticed on the topic of communication, because
it is our strength with our children, that cousins, siblings, and
people outside of the family feel like they can come to us and
share things with us. We’re the safe place for people come to tell
things to."
--Danielle K White